Tag Archives: women

Single women, the focus of mobbing

donnamobbingForced to take the annual leave during the most uncomfortable periods and often harassed psychologically and/or sexually: in many countries, the fact of being “single” often becomes a double edged sword for women who, paradoxically, have invested their energies to secure the maximum independence and to give space to them career.

We often talk about mobbing against women and, in particular, workers who are also mothers; this is certainly the most violent, insidious and painful form to implement this physical and psychological abuse in the workplace.

But there is also another type of bullying, less flashy, perhaps even less known and encoded, son of social evolution, developed in the last 10-15 years and not yet well known: the mobbing against single women.

Workers who don’t have children, and in many cases not even a partner, and then are forced to endure a work overload from colleagues and superiors that is sometimes underestimated if not completely ignored. This is a phenomenon that occurs very often in private workplaces. Single women undergo further sexual mobbing or harassment implemented by someone, aimed to damage the image and career of the person concerned. Many young women have found themselves faced with winks and sexual jokes or attempts of seduction and invitations, at least once in their life.

It ‘s the story of Carla, 43 years old, fired after not having succumbed to the advances of the department head, but she took courage and has gathered with a microphone in a keychain all the sad jokes and then she has started a legal action and has recovered fully her work. But also the story of Mina, 37, forced to exaggerated hours of work and treated in a discriminatory manner; she has gathered evidence with a bug and has brought them to the Court.

These women suffer a form of discrimination that leads them to give up, at the beginning perhaps deliberately, following in order not to lose the professional positions acquired, at a private life, both with a partner and with children. We must stop this phenomenon to be its damages in respect of other women in the same situation. It’s important to always denounce, gathering evidence that incriminate the perpetrators through professional tools that allow clear recordings without arousing suspicion.

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Career women cheat more frequently

donnacarrieraAre we sure that to betray are only the men? It’s a question asked by many from long time. A discussion that, in fact, has never found confirmations, at least until the investigation has not started to affect the companies. Despite a sort of innate tradition speaks of more infidelity on the part of the men, it seems that it isn’t just so for career women always busy and away from home for a long time.

Those who usually carry out sectoral analyzes within companies have no doubt: the women who have more power decide more freely of their lives and if they get tired of the partner, don’t hesitate, with or without regret, to get rid of him, or at least , to “try another one”.
To be interested about this thorny affair that goes on from years, are the researchers of the Tilburg University, in the Netherlands. From their observations, it seems that regardless of gender, people who hold positions of power are more prone to betrayal.

May be for this reason that have grown the sales of spy phone, special phones that allow you to know all the telephone traffic of the “spied” person, the position and also allow you to listen what is happening around the telephone device. A control at 360° used more frequently by men (and women too) who have misgivings about the behavior of the partner. At work as in their free time.

In this sense, then, men cannot feel safe, but certainly not even the women, given that the top positions are almost always assigned to the male sex. In the study, the team involved more than 1,500 professionals, noting that the propensity to be unfaithful is very dependent by the levels of power and self-esteem of individuals, both men and women. So more one get high positions and less he becomes reliable.

Jealousy, beginning or end of a relationship?

gelosiaJealousy is present in man just as in women, the difference lies in the approach. Women feel betrayed by the emotional point of view as a matter of trust, and the man cannot bear to have a rival from the physical point of view. Every day there are numerous people who buy spy phones with which to monitor calls, text messages sent and received by the partner, but also always know where he is and with who he is by relating. Most of the time these devices are bought by people who already have suspicious about the conduct of the partner and it isn’t uncommon that these will prove founded.

Some people say it’s just a form of selfishness and possessiveness, others say that without it one can’t speak of true love. Jealousy has always created differing opinions and from these derive destinies opposites: one is the strengthening of the relation, the other is its progressive collapse.

The term “jealousy” comes from the greek and it means ardor and rivalry, in its seems to convey an aggressive passionality and a series of behaviors aimed at safeguarding the couple. The jealous has in fact a strong protective instinct for the couple. Faced with specific attitudes from “external” for the partner, peeved, acts quickly in favor of the union. Sometimes with irony, sometimes more aggressively, he points out his jealousy defended by the enemy. In contrast, the partner may react feeling the passion and remaining fascinated, or be annoyed.

To arouse discomfort are especially excessive behaviors. They are the jealous who fail to argue in front of mere suspicions. They close to dialogue raise their voices, threat to end the story and sometimes react with verbal violence, but also with physical one. Episodes that mark the couple indissolubly. In this case, the problem lies in the lack of confidence and fear of abandonment. This may be an affective illness of childhood.

Only by addressing positively their emotions, they can help the couple’s relationship. Irony and seduction can be two secret weapons to control the emotion. The obsession certainly don’t lead very far and places first self-love and not that of the couple, as is believed. There are those who resort to psychotherapy.

Who undergoes jealousy should try to don’t react abruptly, but to put the partner in a position to fully express his state of mind, trying to don’t trivialize and limiting attitudes too seductive with the supposed rivals.

“Sex with sleeping women is not rape”

After the last declaration of Todd Akin, Republican Congressman from Missouri, that supported the old theory in vogue among the conservative American right, that “women rarely get pregnant from rape”, from the U.K. another ridiculous consideration about sexual abuse: “Sex with sleeping women is not rape”. The statement comes this time from a member of the english group of left-wing, Respect Party, George Galloway.

The statement was published by the “Village Voice”. In his misogynistic and offensive speech, Galloway, continued sustaining “You don’t need to ask every time”. The words of the deputy arrived to comment on the Julian Assange events, accused of rape in Sweden for unprotected sex with a sleeping woman. According to Galloway, the Assange case “might be really sordid and bad sexual etiquette, but whatever else it is, it is not rape. As Akin, even in the case of Galloway, his party colleagues have condemned his claims. In these days, the conservative right, opposes to abortion in cases of rape, in the attempt to escape from the pressures of the leaders of the GOP, that want him out of the election race, asked “forgiveness” in a video for “used the wrong words in the wrong way”, saying that “rape is always an evil”.

Obviously there was no need of the words of an American brain to understand the injustice which is contained in the rape. According to ISTAT data of 2010 in Italy there are six million 743 thousand of women aged 16 to 70 years who are victims of physical or sexual violence in their lifetime. These are followed by 84767 American cases in the same year and about 16000 in U.K.

Alarming data which should lead women to take precautions. More and more popular are the antiaggression spray. An example is X-Spray by Endoacustica. It’s an advanced version of the classic pepper spray and it has greater effects. Infact it is a blue foam that sprayed on the aggressor face,  temporarily prevents the visual and, as if that was not enough, it leaves  there some spots for up to three days making identification very easy. A system that certainly will alert the bad guys.

Stalking: british women are afraid to report and not to be believed

A recent research, funded by the Northern Rock Foundation and conducted by Durham University on 577 british women, shows that the police and the security force haven’t the female full confidence in the event of complaints of violence, domestic or not, and stalking.

According to the women interviewed the crimes, very serious for 97% of cases, would not be taken seriously by the police. For that, their reluctance to report such events and also for other two main reasons: the fear to fight against someone you know, often a relative, and the fear of not being believed and that their  case is underestimated. Only the 49% of the sample said that would denounce domestic violence and slightly more than half (53%) would denounce in general persecution. “We know that the police added new resources and it is making great efforts to improve both the investigation parte and the victim assistance. Despite  this, the research shows that the women are still reluctant to do the first step and to denunce these crimes to the police” said one of the researchers, Dr. Nicole Westmarland.

Fear of not being protected enough or in the right way and fear of not being belived above all. That’s why more and more women, victims of constant abuse and stalking, trust in new technological tools that allow them to provide evidence of their status of persecuted, so finding the strength to denounce and get out.

It’s the Carol’s case, one of the women interviewed for the research that, from six years victim of stalking, decided that so his life couldn’t go ahead and, to collect evidence against her tormentor, decided to hold a mini video recorder; thanks to it, she could film the “unpleasant encounters” and and verbal threats from her ex husband, that were turning into real physical assault.

In the end, Carol was able to demonstrate and report. Many women hide themselves behind their own shadow, afraid to talk with someone, relative or friends. Very often the news show us that these stories become murders…