Tag Archives: teenagers

“Pink” bullying, the solution of Julia’s parents

bullismo-femminile
If they are victims or perpetrators it’s not important. Parents need to know it. They have the duty as well as the right, to inform themselves. Bullying is more and more at the center of public attention. According to a survey of the Society of Pediatrics, 46% of the kids saw bullying episodes, and more than one in three, 34% of them has suffered it directly or through a friend victim. The news is the emerging female bullying.
“Pink” bullying is less direct, prefers subtle behaviors, even sharper: innuendo, gossip, public ridicule, provocative text messages. The victims are girls with “something less” for bully and her court. It’s a persecutory behavior less evident that usually lasts a long time before being discovered. It’s no coincidence that cyberbullying, spreading on the web, (persecution of the victim through his/her profile on a social network, dissemination of images disparaging or intimate…), doubly interests the girls than their peers, both as victims and as authors. There is also female actions with direct physical aggression, as recently has appeared many times on TV.

The signals that lead to the suspicion that their child is being bullied are already known: isolation, apathy, anger, depression. But these behaviours can really provide the answers? Are not of this opinion, the parents of Julia, 13 year old girl, dismayed before the convocation of the school principal because her daughter would have led repeated abuse against a classmate, Aurora, “guilty” of having asked to take part of the club of friends, led by Julia, who has put in place “evidences of initiation” for Aurora: use her as a slave-girl, force her to eat candy already licked, obligate her to do their homework, force her to lie to teachers and parents…Aurora, destroyed by this situation, confessed everything to the teacher and so began another story that involves families and the school.
In addition to the wonder and the inability to devise punishments, Julia’s parents decided to leave no more escape to the little bully. They installed a spy software on her cell phone with which they can control everything she makes: phone conversations and text messages, environmental listening and monitoring her position real time. They also put under control her online movements through monitoring tools for PC.

These measures are essential alongside to the dialogue and the search for an intimate relationship with the teenagers, often difficult. The interventions are needed both for victims and for the bullies that risk of being given a social label as well as to degenerate over time. But they are even more necessary in the context of prevention and protection of their children.

13-year-old victim beaten outside school for stealing the boyfriend of a peer

bullismo_2Someone claims that it’s better that teenagers are in total freedom of thought and action, others emphasize strong controls. As often happens, the truth lies in the middle. If it’s true that the identity creation requires autonomy, is also true that “some advices” are necessary.

In recent years, most of the relationships between the teenagers happens via internet and social networks, so it’s necessary to control the use of the pc. It would be optimal to monitor the behaviors of their sons “at distance”, so to know what they do and who they interact with, without they know it, leaving them free to express themselves, but away from dangers. Very used tools are key logger or key hunter, small devices by Endoacustica, that allow you to know every detail typed on the computer keyboard.

With the use of this type of tools, many “accidents” would have been avoided. Few weeks ago it appears the news of a young girl violently beaten out of school for having “stolen the boyfriend” of a peer. The incident occurred near to the school and wasn’t unexpected by the victim. Months of threats and harassments via Facebook led to the beating of the adolescent.

Before the aggression, three girls, two thirteen and one fifteen, have snatched the phone to the victim with whom they have sent a text message to her mother to tell her to don’t pick her up from the school. Then, the thirteen year old was dragged into a nearby car park, thrown to the ground, kicked and punched. To save her, the father of another pupil, that has stopped the beating. The girl was brought over to the ER and parents have complained.

Probably take preventive action is the best form of justice that we can be expected.

Web threats

bambini-pc

The web is one of the primary sources of knowledge especially for young people and teenagers. Unfortunately, the same is also a large container of violent images and hard contents that children often meet while surfing.

On this subject has intervened the Safer Internet Programme of the European Commission, who wanted to give voice directly to the young people with regard to the dangers of the web. From what results, Italians are more frightened by the violence that circulates in the network. In fact, among the dangers of the web, they have put in the first place this kind of contents, while European peers have placed the porn in top of the list.

To answer the question “What things on the internet could annoy your peers?” were approximately 25,000 children between 9-16 years from 25 different European countries.

44% of the Italian respondents think that, on the internet, are present contents that upset their peers. 27% gives top priority to violent content (18% of the EU average), 21% pornographic ones (22 percent of the EU average), and 10% other potentially dangerous contents. To convey this material are especially video sites. While social networks, particularly Facebook, are associated, as we have seen numerous times, to behavior risks (such as bullying) or contact (priming). Fear is the prevailing sentiment among children aged 9 and 10 years, while the boys of 11 and 12 years show more often revulsion and annoyance.

Starting from these results we heard Lucy, a mother who told us about her personal experience with his 12 year old son. “Henry is a guy very sunny and helpful. Use, like all his peers, the pc mainly for study and recreation for about an hour a day, a little more during the weekend. One night I heard some moaning in sleep by my son. I stood up and I realized that I was very upset and cried. I woke him up from the nightmare and he, evidently frightened, calmed down after a few minutes. This episode was repeated for about 6 days, but I couldn’t explain the reason. He told me that he always dreamed of being chased, just as he had seen in a video shown by a older friend. I didn’t want to betray the trust towards him, but I had to understand. I bought from the site www.endoacustica.com a key hunter which allowed me to know every detail of the chat with this guy. I realized that he was using these videos with the intention to scare Henry and there was nothing funny. It seemed to me just a principle of bullying. I contacted the boy’s parents who were very helpful in taking action. In a few days the situation returned to normal and Henry found peaceful dreams”.

«Carolina has committed suicide because of who has mocked her»

carolinaAn act apparently unmotivated what led Carolina Picchio, a girl of only 14 years, to take her life by jumping from the balcony of her father’s home, in Novara, Italy.
The Public Prosecution has opened an investigation, but the heaviest accusation comes from the users of social networking, the first of all is Twitter. Classmates and friends of Carolina launched the hashtag #RIPcarolina and many of them speak of bullying: Carolina would end her life because continually insulted at school by their peers.

A young and very beautiful girl, sunny with a passion for athletics, that suddenly has lost her vivacity and turns off slowly. The torture began on Facebook: insults, risqué photos stolen. Her sadness has distanced many “friends” that don’t found more fun to stay with her, and so “Caro” was increasingly isolated.

Since last summer, the girl lived with her father in Novara, the brazilian mother didn’t live with them. She had already changed schools during these four months and she spent a lot of time to train in the gym. “None of us ever thought she could be a victim of bullying“, said the principal of her present school.

It’s investigating on the messages and osé photos of which the teenagers speak, there are fears that the social effect has amplified the affair. There is also talk of an alleged letter that the fourteen year old would have left before the tragic gesture.

Meanwhile on Twitter the charges go on: “Carolina has committed suicide because of who has mocked her”. Once again it’s the world of social networks that makes the rules. “They insult me too”, “Tomorrow I have to go back to school … and see those idiots … I can’t do it”, can be read among the many tweets.
Strong message that shouldn’t be underestimated. Many parents can’t have access to the contents of all the online activities of teenagers, so they has resort to remote control tools for PCs that let they know what happens even within the social.
Other parents use spy software which, when installed on the phone, allow them to monitor calls and messages, but also to know the GPS position of the phone and so of the boy. Tools that were unthinkable a short time ago, but by now of great importance for the protection of adolescents.

Teenagers hidden from parents their activities on the Internet

Group of young students working on laptop computer in classroomA recent European research has revealed a deep discrepancy between what teenagers do with the computer and what their parents know in this regard. Many children and young people daily access to inappropriate content being conscious of having the trust of their parents. In this regard, 31.8% of parents in Europe is certain that his son says everything he does on the Internet.

The issue lies in the fact that over 40% of European teenagers know that their parents would disagree about the sites that they visit, of them, many speak of video with objectionable content, other of illegally downloaded music and 6% refers to the purchase of alcohol or drugs online.

As many as 26.5% of Italian teenagers admitted to having sent or posted on the Internet its own risqué photos (the European average is 11, 6%). Almost the same amount of young people in Europe research intentionally nudity or explicit pornographic and more than a third display these images a couple of times a month (54% in the UK). Usual is also search online solutions to homeworks or school tests. Alarming is the percentage of teens (15%) who said that they had met in person someone known online.

Obviously teenagers take a number of “cheats” to hide their online behavior to parents. Almost half of them, lowers the browser window when a parent enters the room. 38.8% delete the chronology from the PC. Several of them display what is “forbidden” away from home, others use an email address doesn’t known by their parents.

For their part for 22.6% of parents said that they had a conversation about online safety with their children, but, more worryingly, 17.6% didn’t make nothing to monitor the online behavior of them, convinced that there aren’t dangers online. Among parents who monitor their children in some way, about a quarter of them set parental control features on the mobile device of teenage children, only 18.4% knows the password of the mobile phone and still less knows the password for access to e-mail or social networks. Slightly more than 2% set the functionality of parental control on the home computer. The parental control often is useless because one parent in five admitted that their child is more tech-savvy than him and he will never be able to keep pace with his knowledge online. To confirm this, 8,7% of adolescents admitted to deactivate parental controls on their devices. Shrewdest parents have relied on simple and very safe tools as spy software on mobiles, or remote monitoring of PCs. These are well advanced devices, hard to detect by those who doesn’t know. These control activities are also recommended by experts in the field of psychology and education because they don’t represent a lack of confidence, but they increase the security of the virtual world which is often the cause of bad feelings and emotional upheaval in the daily lives of adolescents.