If they are victims or perpetrators it’s not important. Parents need to know it. They have the duty as well as the right, to inform themselves. Bullying is more and more at the center of public attention. According to a survey of the Society of Pediatrics, 46% of the kids saw bullying episodes, and more than one in three, 34% of them has suffered it directly or through a friend victim. The news is the emerging female bullying.
“Pink” bullying is less direct, prefers subtle behaviors, even sharper: innuendo, gossip, public ridicule, provocative text messages. The victims are girls with “something less” for bully and her court. It’s a persecutory behavior less evident that usually lasts a long time before being discovered. It’s no coincidence that cyberbullying, spreading on the web, (persecution of the victim through his/her profile on a social network, dissemination of images disparaging or intimate…), doubly interests the girls than their peers, both as victims and as authors. There is also female actions with direct physical aggression, as recently has appeared many times on TV.
The signals that lead to the suspicion that their child is being bullied are already known: isolation, apathy, anger, depression. But these behaviours can really provide the answers? Are not of this opinion, the parents of Julia, 13 year old girl, dismayed before the convocation of the school principal because her daughter would have led repeated abuse against a classmate, Aurora, “guilty” of having asked to take part of the club of friends, led by Julia, who has put in place “evidences of initiation” for Aurora: use her as a slave-girl, force her to eat candy already licked, obligate her to do their homework, force her to lie to teachers and parents…Aurora, destroyed by this situation, confessed everything to the teacher and so began another story that involves families and the school.
In addition to the wonder and the inability to devise punishments, Julia’s parents decided to leave no more escape to the little bully. They installed a spy software on her cell phone with which they can control everything she makes: phone conversations and text messages, environmental listening and monitoring her position real time. They also put under control her online movements through monitoring tools for PC.
These measures are essential alongside to the dialogue and the search for an intimate relationship with the teenagers, often difficult. The interventions are needed both for victims and for the bullies that risk of being given a social label as well as to degenerate over time. But they are even more necessary in the context of prevention and protection of their children.