Tag Archives: computer monitoring

“Pink” bullying, the solution of Julia’s parents

bullismo-femminile
If they are victims or perpetrators it’s not important. Parents need to know it. They have the duty as well as the right, to inform themselves. Bullying is more and more at the center of public attention. According to a survey of the Society of Pediatrics, 46% of the kids saw bullying episodes, and more than one in three, 34% of them has suffered it directly or through a friend victim. The news is the emerging female bullying.
“Pink” bullying is less direct, prefers subtle behaviors, even sharper: innuendo, gossip, public ridicule, provocative text messages. The victims are girls with “something less” for bully and her court. It’s a persecutory behavior less evident that usually lasts a long time before being discovered. It’s no coincidence that cyberbullying, spreading on the web, (persecution of the victim through his/her profile on a social network, dissemination of images disparaging or intimate…), doubly interests the girls than their peers, both as victims and as authors. There is also female actions with direct physical aggression, as recently has appeared many times on TV.

The signals that lead to the suspicion that their child is being bullied are already known: isolation, apathy, anger, depression. But these behaviours can really provide the answers? Are not of this opinion, the parents of Julia, 13 year old girl, dismayed before the convocation of the school principal because her daughter would have led repeated abuse against a classmate, Aurora, “guilty” of having asked to take part of the club of friends, led by Julia, who has put in place “evidences of initiation” for Aurora: use her as a slave-girl, force her to eat candy already licked, obligate her to do their homework, force her to lie to teachers and parents…Aurora, destroyed by this situation, confessed everything to the teacher and so began another story that involves families and the school.
In addition to the wonder and the inability to devise punishments, Julia’s parents decided to leave no more escape to the little bully. They installed a spy software on her cell phone with which they can control everything she makes: phone conversations and text messages, environmental listening and monitoring her position real time. They also put under control her online movements through monitoring tools for PC.

These measures are essential alongside to the dialogue and the search for an intimate relationship with the teenagers, often difficult. The interventions are needed both for victims and for the bullies that risk of being given a social label as well as to degenerate over time. But they are even more necessary in the context of prevention and protection of their children.

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How monitor your teen’s online activity

bambini-e-internetThere are many stories of teenagers in which the use of the PC becomes a dangerous weapon. It makes you think that the problem is not just the technology. But the loneliness that turns into fear and moves them away from the real world. They aren’t really useful the buttons for the reporting of abuse, introduced by Ask.fm and Twitter, after the controversy in the newspapers. You send an email to protest and quite often nothing happens. And the petitions are useless, like the one carried out by some parents who have called for the closure of Ask.fm. If you close it, tomorrow is born another. And you cannot even pretend to delegate the security policy of adolescents. So parents have only a road. Be careful. And make even more. Protect them.
By installing small control tools, invisible to the user and therefore not limiting for those who use your computer. Through these, you can check what is typed or posted and shared before it’s too late. So explain to them that it isn’t a “like” or a post on Facebook to determine what we are worth. But above all that insult someone hiding behind an anonymous profile is a cowardly behavior.

Once guaranteed a total security, you can work more calmly with the teens. In fact control what teenagers do online isn’t easy. Every day born new social networks and digital applications. But for the parents, to pay attention to the digital education of children is an imperative. Here are some advices to avoid that our children becoming victims of cyberbullying or be transformed into active subjects of this practice.
1 . First, it’s a good practice to introduce a system of total control that allows you to know in every times what is happening online.
2 . Keep the family computer in the living room or in a common environment so that you can use it together. Regarding the mobile phone, however, not transforming it into a transgression but limit the use. Using remote monitoring software which allows to know in real time what happening, with who are in contact , and especially if some danger is lurking.
3. Give a good example, don’t use in every moment your smartphone or the laptop. Don’t demonize social networks and devices. Rather try to set a good example by using them in a conscious manner and respect your privacy and your children.
4. Teach them how to defend themselves from attack online. And put them on guard about the risks of spreading in network the details of his personal life.
5. Talk to him/her about cyberbullying and explain that it isn’t something real. But virtual. In the case, report abuse to teachers, authorities and managers of social networks. You can ask for a psychological support for the child.
6. If your child spends too many hours with the phone or the computer, there may be something wrong. So it becomes extremely necessary to control them without being seen to monitor what is really happening. One of the indicators can be isolating. Don’t want go to school and don’t want to see anyone is one of the first warning signs of the victims of cyberbullying.