Tag Archives: bullying

Single women, the focus of mobbing

donnamobbingForced to take the annual leave during the most uncomfortable periods and often harassed psychologically and/or sexually: in many countries, the fact of being “single” often becomes a double edged sword for women who, paradoxically, have invested their energies to secure the maximum independence and to give space to them career.

We often talk about mobbing against women and, in particular, workers who are also mothers; this is certainly the most violent, insidious and painful form to implement this physical and psychological abuse in the workplace.

But there is also another type of bullying, less flashy, perhaps even less known and encoded, son of social evolution, developed in the last 10-15 years and not yet well known: the mobbing against single women.

Workers who don’t have children, and in many cases not even a partner, and then are forced to endure a work overload from colleagues and superiors that is sometimes underestimated if not completely ignored. This is a phenomenon that occurs very often in private workplaces. Single women undergo further sexual mobbing or harassment implemented by someone, aimed to damage the image and career of the person concerned. Many young women have found themselves faced with winks and sexual jokes or attempts of seduction and invitations, at least once in their life.

It ‘s the story of Carla, 43 years old, fired after not having succumbed to the advances of the department head, but she took courage and has gathered with a microphone in a keychain all the sad jokes and then she has started a legal action and has recovered fully her work. But also the story of Mina, 37, forced to exaggerated hours of work and treated in a discriminatory manner; she has gathered evidence with a bug and has brought them to the Court.

These women suffer a form of discrimination that leads them to give up, at the beginning perhaps deliberately, following in order not to lose the professional positions acquired, at a private life, both with a partner and with children. We must stop this phenomenon to be its damages in respect of other women in the same situation. It’s important to always denounce, gathering evidence that incriminate the perpetrators through professional tools that allow clear recordings without arousing suspicion.

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“Pink” bullying, the solution of Julia’s parents

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If they are victims or perpetrators it’s not important. Parents need to know it. They have the duty as well as the right, to inform themselves. Bullying is more and more at the center of public attention. According to a survey of the Society of Pediatrics, 46% of the kids saw bullying episodes, and more than one in three, 34% of them has suffered it directly or through a friend victim. The news is the emerging female bullying.
“Pink” bullying is less direct, prefers subtle behaviors, even sharper: innuendo, gossip, public ridicule, provocative text messages. The victims are girls with “something less” for bully and her court. It’s a persecutory behavior less evident that usually lasts a long time before being discovered. It’s no coincidence that cyberbullying, spreading on the web, (persecution of the victim through his/her profile on a social network, dissemination of images disparaging or intimate…), doubly interests the girls than their peers, both as victims and as authors. There is also female actions with direct physical aggression, as recently has appeared many times on TV.

The signals that lead to the suspicion that their child is being bullied are already known: isolation, apathy, anger, depression. But these behaviours can really provide the answers? Are not of this opinion, the parents of Julia, 13 year old girl, dismayed before the convocation of the school principal because her daughter would have led repeated abuse against a classmate, Aurora, “guilty” of having asked to take part of the club of friends, led by Julia, who has put in place “evidences of initiation” for Aurora: use her as a slave-girl, force her to eat candy already licked, obligate her to do their homework, force her to lie to teachers and parents…Aurora, destroyed by this situation, confessed everything to the teacher and so began another story that involves families and the school.
In addition to the wonder and the inability to devise punishments, Julia’s parents decided to leave no more escape to the little bully. They installed a spy software on her cell phone with which they can control everything she makes: phone conversations and text messages, environmental listening and monitoring her position real time. They also put under control her online movements through monitoring tools for PC.

These measures are essential alongside to the dialogue and the search for an intimate relationship with the teenagers, often difficult. The interventions are needed both for victims and for the bullies that risk of being given a social label as well as to degenerate over time. But they are even more necessary in the context of prevention and protection of their children.

Bothered by her boss. She cannot sue him because she’s an intern

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In times of shortage of work, are not rare the entrepreneurs who take advantage from the sad situation of many young people by underpaying them or making them work without a contract and without any right. This condition embittered employees and above all makes them more permissive and slaves in front of rude and sometimes illegal behaviors that very often seem real bullying.

In New York, for example, be an intern involves not only the difficulties of working for a very small fee, or often even zero: young workers without an employment contract aren’t protected against abuse in the workplace. A judge in Manhattan – as reported by Bloomberg Businessweek – has determined that Lihuan Wang, 26 years old, a former intern in the office of Phoenix Satellite Television, cannot sue her boss for sexual harassment because she isn’t a regular employee hired by the company.

The girl, originally from China, began an intern at the New York office in 2010, when she was 22 years old, and claims that her boss has repeatedly harassed her by touching her buttocks and trying to kiss her. But the law states: “New York City’s Human Rights Law’s protection of employees does not extend to unpaid interns”.

Such attitudes are unfortunately very common and have no geographical limits. In this sense, we can refer to the self defense, the only tool that you can use in case of workplace bullying, to gather evidences that allow you to report the attackers. In fact, the cases of abuse very often required evidences to determine the perpetration of the attitudes reported. Therefore, the use of hidden micro bugs or micro cameras are of great importance to protect themselves and get justice.

13-year-old victim beaten outside school for stealing the boyfriend of a peer

bullismo_2Someone claims that it’s better that teenagers are in total freedom of thought and action, others emphasize strong controls. As often happens, the truth lies in the middle. If it’s true that the identity creation requires autonomy, is also true that “some advices” are necessary.

In recent years, most of the relationships between the teenagers happens via internet and social networks, so it’s necessary to control the use of the pc. It would be optimal to monitor the behaviors of their sons “at distance”, so to know what they do and who they interact with, without they know it, leaving them free to express themselves, but away from dangers. Very used tools are key logger or key hunter, small devices by Endoacustica, that allow you to know every detail typed on the computer keyboard.

With the use of this type of tools, many “accidents” would have been avoided. Few weeks ago it appears the news of a young girl violently beaten out of school for having “stolen the boyfriend” of a peer. The incident occurred near to the school and wasn’t unexpected by the victim. Months of threats and harassments via Facebook led to the beating of the adolescent.

Before the aggression, three girls, two thirteen and one fifteen, have snatched the phone to the victim with whom they have sent a text message to her mother to tell her to don’t pick her up from the school. Then, the thirteen year old was dragged into a nearby car park, thrown to the ground, kicked and punched. To save her, the father of another pupil, that has stopped the beating. The girl was brought over to the ER and parents have complained.

Probably take preventive action is the best form of justice that we can be expected.

Web threats

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The web is one of the primary sources of knowledge especially for young people and teenagers. Unfortunately, the same is also a large container of violent images and hard contents that children often meet while surfing.

On this subject has intervened the Safer Internet Programme of the European Commission, who wanted to give voice directly to the young people with regard to the dangers of the web. From what results, Italians are more frightened by the violence that circulates in the network. In fact, among the dangers of the web, they have put in the first place this kind of contents, while European peers have placed the porn in top of the list.

To answer the question “What things on the internet could annoy your peers?” were approximately 25,000 children between 9-16 years from 25 different European countries.

44% of the Italian respondents think that, on the internet, are present contents that upset their peers. 27% gives top priority to violent content (18% of the EU average), 21% pornographic ones (22 percent of the EU average), and 10% other potentially dangerous contents. To convey this material are especially video sites. While social networks, particularly Facebook, are associated, as we have seen numerous times, to behavior risks (such as bullying) or contact (priming). Fear is the prevailing sentiment among children aged 9 and 10 years, while the boys of 11 and 12 years show more often revulsion and annoyance.

Starting from these results we heard Lucy, a mother who told us about her personal experience with his 12 year old son. “Henry is a guy very sunny and helpful. Use, like all his peers, the pc mainly for study and recreation for about an hour a day, a little more during the weekend. One night I heard some moaning in sleep by my son. I stood up and I realized that I was very upset and cried. I woke him up from the nightmare and he, evidently frightened, calmed down after a few minutes. This episode was repeated for about 6 days, but I couldn’t explain the reason. He told me that he always dreamed of being chased, just as he had seen in a video shown by a older friend. I didn’t want to betray the trust towards him, but I had to understand. I bought from the site www.endoacustica.com a key hunter which allowed me to know every detail of the chat with this guy. I realized that he was using these videos with the intention to scare Henry and there was nothing funny. It seemed to me just a principle of bullying. I contacted the boy’s parents who were very helpful in taking action. In a few days the situation returned to normal and Henry found peaceful dreams”.

Boys made slaves by a gang of bullies

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Many parents have already adopted control systems for mobile phone of their children. Invisible software that allow them to control at 360° what happens in the lives of teenagers inside and outside the home. By these means it’s possible to listen calls, read incoming and outgoing text messages, know live what’s happening around the phone and also control its position.

Tools certainly questionable, but that, in many cases, have saved the lives of troubled youngs. Unfortunately, incidents of bullying are very frequent and are carried out in several stages, so it’s possible to take timely action, only if you are aware of what is happening.

A news of a few days ago has unsuspected protagonists. Boys of wealthy families made slaves by a gang of bullies who for years have terrorized the peers forcing them to steal in their own homes. Penalty: beatings captured with mobile phones. Constant threats and harassments, forced the boys to provide money between 100 and 300 euro, smartphones, gold items, shoes, jackets, and any other branded garment, sometimes also items subtracted from the family safe.

It has taken years and much courage to denounce to the police, who have arrested a gang of bullies, including an adult and five underage. The moral and psychological damages certainly cannot be easily paid off. Are episodes like these that push smart parents to take control systems to safeguard the lives of their children.

«Carolina has committed suicide because of who has mocked her»

carolinaAn act apparently unmotivated what led Carolina Picchio, a girl of only 14 years, to take her life by jumping from the balcony of her father’s home, in Novara, Italy.
The Public Prosecution has opened an investigation, but the heaviest accusation comes from the users of social networking, the first of all is Twitter. Classmates and friends of Carolina launched the hashtag #RIPcarolina and many of them speak of bullying: Carolina would end her life because continually insulted at school by their peers.

A young and very beautiful girl, sunny with a passion for athletics, that suddenly has lost her vivacity and turns off slowly. The torture began on Facebook: insults, risqué photos stolen. Her sadness has distanced many “friends” that don’t found more fun to stay with her, and so “Caro” was increasingly isolated.

Since last summer, the girl lived with her father in Novara, the brazilian mother didn’t live with them. She had already changed schools during these four months and she spent a lot of time to train in the gym. “None of us ever thought she could be a victim of bullying“, said the principal of her present school.

It’s investigating on the messages and osé photos of which the teenagers speak, there are fears that the social effect has amplified the affair. There is also talk of an alleged letter that the fourteen year old would have left before the tragic gesture.

Meanwhile on Twitter the charges go on: “Carolina has committed suicide because of who has mocked her”. Once again it’s the world of social networks that makes the rules. “They insult me too”, “Tomorrow I have to go back to school … and see those idiots … I can’t do it”, can be read among the many tweets.
Strong message that shouldn’t be underestimated. Many parents can’t have access to the contents of all the online activities of teenagers, so they has resort to remote control tools for PCs that let they know what happens even within the social.
Other parents use spy software which, when installed on the phone, allow them to monitor calls and messages, but also to know the GPS position of the phone and so of the boy. Tools that were unthinkable a short time ago, but by now of great importance for the protection of adolescents.

Bullying and violence among young people: differences, causes and solutions

When we speak of bullying, we never have a precise definition of what this is. Its meaning, in fact, changes from country to country: while in England, for example, this word refers to the aggressive behavior by a person or group against peers with whom there is a profound asymmetry of power, due for example to different social, racial, sexual or other conditions, in Sweden the word “bullying” is identified with “mobbing”, which in Italy, and other countries, is related only to the working sphere. In Italy when it comes to bullying it’s referred, almost exclusively, to harassing behavior from young people, especially teenagers, to peers or even younger. Aggressive behavior that range from verbal abuse to actual physical aggressions.

Although in many schools are looking for more dialogue on education and respect for others, there are serious cases, outside the control of who should oversee the children, from teachers, often themselves victims, to parents, who often don’t know that their child is the victim of bullies or bully himself.

If the insults can be tollerated, even if the psychology demonstrates that it isn’t so because they go to influence the teenager personality in formation, certainly more unacceptable is the physical aggression and aren’t a few cases in which it occurs. Just read the news story. In these cases we are always asking where are the “adults”, where are the parents, not only of the victim, but also of the executioners. What brings a boy or a girl (bullying is also declined in the feminine), to discharge his anger over the weak? Psychologists attribute some attitudes to some social components and especially to the family. On the one hand, there are parents who recognize the problem and try to investigate and resolve, like an italian mum that gave to his son, suspected bully, a spyphone to be able to control and understand the reason for such attitudes, on the other hand, there are those who leave these guys to their fate, thinking that aggression is almost a genetic feature, difficult to change.