Monthly Archives: March 2013

Jealousy, beginning or end of a relationship?

gelosiaJealousy is present in man just as in women, the difference lies in the approach. Women feel betrayed by the emotional point of view as a matter of trust, and the man cannot bear to have a rival from the physical point of view. Every day there are numerous people who buy spy phones with which to monitor calls, text messages sent and received by the partner, but also always know where he is and with who he is by relating. Most of the time these devices are bought by people who already have suspicious about the conduct of the partner and it isn’t uncommon that these will prove founded.

Some people say it’s just a form of selfishness and possessiveness, others say that without it one can’t speak of true love. Jealousy has always created differing opinions and from these derive destinies opposites: one is the strengthening of the relation, the other is its progressive collapse.

The term “jealousy” comes from the greek and it means ardor and rivalry, in its seems to convey an aggressive passionality and a series of behaviors aimed at safeguarding the couple. The jealous has in fact a strong protective instinct for the couple. Faced with specific attitudes from “external” for the partner, peeved, acts quickly in favor of the union. Sometimes with irony, sometimes more aggressively, he points out his jealousy defended by the enemy. In contrast, the partner may react feeling the passion and remaining fascinated, or be annoyed.

To arouse discomfort are especially excessive behaviors. They are the jealous who fail to argue in front of mere suspicions. They close to dialogue raise their voices, threat to end the story and sometimes react with verbal violence, but also with physical one. Episodes that mark the couple indissolubly. In this case, the problem lies in the lack of confidence and fear of abandonment. This may be an affective illness of childhood.

Only by addressing positively their emotions, they can help the couple’s relationship. Irony and seduction can be two secret weapons to control the emotion. The obsession certainly don’t lead very far and places first self-love and not that of the couple, as is believed. There are those who resort to psychotherapy.

Who undergoes jealousy should try to don’t react abruptly, but to put the partner in a position to fully express his state of mind, trying to don’t trivialize and limiting attitudes too seductive with the supposed rivals.

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Rejected the EU “porn ban” proposal

bambinopcA wave of protests has risen as a result of the proposal, discussed by the EU Parliament, for the elimination of all forms of pornography in the media.

The “motion to eliminate gender stereotypes in the EU” has triggered the fear that one day we can get to ban porn; citizens have turned against Brussels, forcing Euro MPs to put filters to their mailboxes clogged with hundreds of thousands of messages in defense of freedom of the network.

The proposal required for short to EU Member States to make every possible effort to eliminate the discrimination of women from advertising and also it demanded a ban of all forms of pornography in the media. It was this last part to arouse controversies about the freedom to freely distribute online contents.

Parliament, after admitting that it had chosen unsuitable and too general words for its proposal, it canceled from the text, the phrase that evoked the “ban of all forms of pornography in the media and in the sex tourism advertising”. It also found that most of the complaints were sended by a “very limited” number of IP addresses and therefore could represent a instrumentalization of the case.

What the EU effectively wanted to propose was the prohibition of pornography, but only in advertising. So the problem seems to have been of communication. But we must recognize that through the web, circulating pornographic images and contents of any kind and often have access to them not only adults, but also children and adolescents. At the moment the only way to control is self-defense.

Many parents use the anti porn key, a normal usb pen drive that cleans thoroughly the pc from any pornographic images thanks to complex algorithms that are used to search through all the data stored on your hard disk. The freedom of the network is important, but the protection of the youngest it’s in the same way, just know how to combine the two.

Discovered the mistreatments of the babysitter

baby-sitterA few weeks ago, a lady came in Endoacustica company very alarmed. She has a 2 year old child who, for reasons of work, left for about six hours a day with a babysitter. The choice of the girl to whom entrust their child had been arduous and meticulous. She and her husband had evaluated many curriculum and they had personally met with the candidates. The girl chosen as well as having a rich background of experience, was found to be cheerful and sunny, so was the best.

At the time when the lady has contacted us, the babysitter had been working from four months in the family: she took care of the child, fed him, took him for a walk. The mother said that usually, when she returned, the child was sad, tired and whining. Also reported that one day, returning at home, she noticed strange marks on the baby’s face, scratches. The young woman had justified the incident with an accidental fall of the child. Episode that really can happen to a child, who, however, had strange morbid attitudes towards parents and resentment towards the baby sitter.

The lady discussed with her husband and together they became aware that something was wrong. The team Endoacustica, once heard the story, has recommended the installation of a DVR All in one, a micro audio and video recorder, in the baby’s stroller so that they can monitor what happened in their absence. The recorded images have very troubled the parents. The girl was anything but loving with the child, she let him cry for hours, while she watched TV, and when the baby refused to eat, she used strong-arm tactics. Parents have promply brought the material collected by the police reporting the baby sitter. The evidences have been fundamental to witness their story.

Now it’s in progress the criminal proceedings. The mother took a vacation to stay with her son; unlikely she’ll leave again the child in the hands of babysitter, although referenced, in a uncontrolled manner.

Reported for having haircut to some women on the bus

taglia capelli-2Prudence is never enough. Public places, bars, streets are often theaters of scenes of aggression and violence by strangers.

In Italy, a few days ago, was arrested a 40 year-old accused of having haircut to many women. As is clear to see, the man isn’t a hairdresser, rather, to be more precise, he is a metalworker. So, how do you explain the story? According to the reconstruction of the investigators, the man had a real obsession, that of cutting hair to young women. A burning desire that has led to him trouble with the law.

The man has make suspicions of the police because he was seen going up and down several times by bus, searched, he was found in possession of three pairs of scissors for hairdresser and two strands of hair female jealously guarded in the inside pocket of his jacket. Brought to the police station, the maniac has admitted to having cut them to young women on public transport.

It’s possible that the fetishist, who lives and works in southern Italy, has gone to Bologna at the fair of cosmetics and beauty, sure to find many “victims” to which hair cut. Among the complaints, there was in fact one from a visitor’s Cosmoprof turned to the police station of the fair, to report that someone had cut a lock of hair. The man has been charged with  private violence and illegal port of scissors.

An episode almost ridiculous, which can also make you smile. Can not be said the same for the many acts of violence consumed in the streets at the hands of strangers. Many women, but also men, thought to their own safety and always bring with them an anti aggression spray. One of the most reliable is X spray, the Endoacustica product anti aggression that allows to block the view of the aggressor momentarily due to its foamy consistency of color blue. Obviously Endoacustica also thought to the possibility in which the attacker flees. In this case, once the foam removed from the face, the blue color will remain on the skin for approximately three days and this will facilitate the identification of the subject. X spray isn’t harmful and is a simple expedient that could prove important.

Mobbing: attacked a cashier in a supermarket

caissiere44 years, Peruvian, with two children, kidney problems and a part-time contract of 30 hours per week for just over 1000 euro per month. This is the framework of a cashier in a supermarket that mistreated and humiliated, has resisted even if sick, the constant harassments. Then, when she was attacked physically, hasn’t done it again and has decided to react and exposing it to the police.

Sometimes she feels bad, but she don’t allowed to go to the toilet. One day she urinated on her because it hadn’t been given the possibility to her to go to the toilet. Finished work, “humiliated and crying”, she went to the hospital where she was diagnosed with a hemorrhagic cystitis: 15 days of disease prognosis.

But a few days ago an episode even more serious: an aggression in the dressing room of the store by a person not yet identified. After 16:30 the cashier goes downstairs to change her clothings and a stranger covers her eyes with a band, lock her hands, puts a cloth in her mouth and bangs her head against the walls of the bathroom. Then, screaming at her “piss” and other hostile words press the flush. “When he put my head in the water”, the victim said, “I saw my children who greeted me for the last time and I recommended me to God”.

She faints and the director helps her, accompanying her to the hospital. The worker complained to the police: “I want to know who was beating me and why”. And above all, referring to her complaints of mobbing says to “want to fight now because no one is subjected to the same humiliation I suffered myself”.

Unfortunately, however, humiliation and harassment are on the agenda. It’s always difficult to collect evidence attesting these episodes. In many cases, employees have proved to be smart recording with microcameras  the episodes of mobbing. These images have often proved the key to resolve their unfortunate situation. In fact, in other cases, in the absence of evidences, the court hasn’t been able to give a favorable opinion to the complaints of the case. Pens, watches, buttons, ties can hide small cameras that allow you to catch humiliation and threats and solve cases that may, in the long run, cause stress, insomnia and mental disorders that shouldn’t be underestimated.

The voice, indicator of betrayal

uomo-al-telefono_600x398Infidelity is widespread and steadily increasing. Almost one in two people confesses to having an affair. Not very credible are those people who claim that they haven’t noticed anything, something in the couple doesn’t usually go, regardless of the betrayal itself. There are always some clues, unusual attitudes, evidences. For example, men believe that women with the voice too shrill are less reliable, while the women are convinced that men with a deep tone of voice are less faithful.

On the theme of “voice”, as a source of paralinguistic informations, is expressed the Canadian McMaster University. In particular, the researchers have examined the relationship between the tone of voice and the perceived infidelity. According to experts, just hidden in the tonality are the mechanisms that lead to the choice of their partner. In fact, each person has benchmarks and obviously try to don’t engage in stories not very convincing already “at first listen”.

The study involved listening to some voices by a group of volunteers. The result is that both men and women use the tone of voice as a sign of future betrayal. In particular, believe that they are inclined to betray women with a high tone and men with a deep tonality.

The case is scientifically tested: men with low voice have high levels of testosterone, while women with shrill voice have a high rate of estrogen. As often happens behind a social case lies a scientific truth. The voice is often used to seduce and conquer their prey via telephone. Often are used voice changers both to hide their identity from the interlocutor and to make it perfect on the phone. In short, the charm also passes through the intricate telephone networks.

Facebook for couples with “Us”

noifacebookAfter having been defined home wrecker and have been called into question in numerous cases of separations of our day, forcing the “smartest” partners to use monitoring tools for pc, Facebook tries to make peace with the couples online.

How? Making the couple “social” with the application “Us“, through which the untiring romantic can share everything happens within the couple: photos, thoughts, videos, and so on…

In reality “Us” is an extension of the existing functionalities of Facebook, which allows you to view details of friendship clik on the wheel in the top right corner of the profile, accessing to the settings of the page, and then selecting “view friendship details”. Then you see the chronicle of the interaction between two people from the moment they close social friendship. “Us” leads, via a link, to a page very similar to this, but in a more direct way and also in a more customizable space. In addition to keep a diary with his status and updates, the user “coupled” may then manage a detailed chronicle of love, with the level of privacy configurable from the main settings.

If the love were to end, the couple’s Facebook page could soon turn into a vent page or better yet a page where publicly denigrate the former partner.

In the U.S., a woman of 43 years has published on the “Us” of her lover a photograph of herself and the man in intimate attitudes. Of course, the surprise wasn’t pleasant for the counterpart and for his official partner. In many use invisible control systems for PC that take away this kind of discovery, preventing the risk of betrayal online.