Monthly Archives: November 2012

Female violence against men: alarming data

It’s usual to think of the gender violence to mean the event in which the victim is female and the offender is a man. This kind of misinformation is usually vehicled by the media involving awareness campaigns unidirectional relegating to a marginal position the hypothesis according to which the male gender is often victim of violenceThe episodes occur mostly in the home and these often entail, given the nature of the relationship often intrafamiliar, the silence of the victim. Therefore, any type of analysis is limited because of number of people unable to report their condition.

A recent research by Istat, which was inspired by a survey carried out in 2006 on a sample of women, revealed that the violence don’t know order and gender and it’s made too often to the detriment of men. A scene in which a woman slaps a man, for example, doesn’t raise particular outrage or indignation, in fact the episode is often minimized and it becomes even ridiculous, ironic. So these reactions lead us to think that violence performed by women doesn’t exist.

The unofficial survey wanted just to show how this form of abuse exists and also wanted to shed light on a subject unknown from the scientific literature. Some mentions is to be found in referring to the United States, India, Canada and the UK. The questionnaires were administered to subjects aged between 18 and 70 years for a total of 1,058 males. 63.1% of the sample claimed to have sustained least one episode of physical violence at the hands of a woman in the course of their lives. In the first place there is the threat of use violence and the most common way results to be typically female: scratching, bites hair ripped. Among the “other forms of violence” appear attempts to shock with electricity, investments with the car, hands crushed in the doors and drawers, pushed down the stairs.

With regard to sexual violence, 48.7% of the sample claimed to have sustained least one episode of such violence at the hands of a woman. The greater percentage regards the interruption without understandable reasons of a started intimate relationship. These events have made the victim depressed, humiliated, often leading to physical and psychological consequences such as insomnia, feelings of inferiority, decline of self esteem, inadequacy. In some cases it was necessary to resort to therapy and analysis. No less relevant is the part of men forced to have sex in ways unwelcome, including group activities and partner-swapping. Some of these practices have also caused visible marks, scars, burns.

Finally, relates to the persecutors acts, 31.9% of the sample reported having undergone them by a woman. From the analysis that have emerged, would seem that more than 12% of men has experienced least one act of persecution at the hands of a woman in the course of life.

After this excursus about violence of which men are victims, it’s appropriate to give some advice to the boys. The most obvious solution may be report to the police, but on the other hand, it’s often difficult to demonstrate this kind of violence, especially within a relationship. The use of bugs and microrecorders proved to be appropriate in many cases in order to gather evidence against the persecutor be it man or woman. As we have seen, the aggressive ways haven’t limitations in physical prowess or in muscle development and therefore may also be implemented by physically fragile and delicate people. Well then pay attention to these verbal or physical episodes. 

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From the teenagers on Twitter “No to the cyber bullying”

Twitter is one of the main tools that the adolescents use to share thoughts, trends, images, but also common problems. Usually the first places in the list of trending topics (the words most shared on the site) are often occuped by names of singers or players. A few days ago, something unexpected: at the top of the list is finished #noalcyberbullismo. A concrete initiative, a cry for help by two teenagers who gave free rein to the difficulty of many others.

Around the world, teenagers have shown interest about the story of Amanda Todd, 15 year old, Canadian who has announced her suicide with a video in which she said, through cartels, her occurrence as a victim of harassment through the web.

From this episode is born an online petition to ask with a loud more laws against the digital bullying. Many of teenagers involved in the petition seem to have experience of cyber bullying. Every day I read insults, who wishes me death, who teases me”, “Isn’t important what I do, I am criticized anyway”. The initiators would be the italians “Riccardho” and “Morwen”.

To them have added in a short time, about 28 thousand followers who welcomed with great enthusiasm the initiative. Not only singers and players then, but also serious social problems faced by the teenagers, often the same ones are the protagonists of acts of cyber bullying.

More and more parents buy devices for the control of PCs used by their sons. It isn’t a reaction for a lack of confidence, but a way to show a real interest in their lives and to protect them from those want to make them an instrument of game.

The new frontier of betrayal: the chexting

 

If we combine the word cheat with texting, here is the new neologism that means flirting or even betray via mobile phone. Activity so widespread that has requested a name to be exactly defined, chexting.

 

The cases of celebrities like Sandra Bullock with her husband Jesse James or the golf champion Tiger Woods have taught: the betrayal by texting can lead to divorce. The great thing about chexting, with or without the actual betrayal carnal, is the gratification that doesn’t end when the two sides interrupt the communication, in fact the person may re-read the messages whenever him want, so finding the excitation of the moment.

According to experts, the cases of divorce due to technological betrayals, chat, e-mail or phone, are growing. Text messages are the tools that will no doubt have more widespread given their constant presence in the lives of all, our trusty mobile friend can also become an accomplice.

And if it is really the phone to betray us? There are many partners of alleged traitors who use technology tools to find the basis of infidelity doesn’t matter if it comes to flirting innocent or reliable stories. The most common tools are the environmental bugs and the spy software. The bugs are used in different situ

ations when you have a doubt about a specific place where “strange things” can happen, may this be the place of work, the car or yours home. Hiding a bug in these places is easy to understand what happens and especially who are the protagonists of the story. The spy software, instead, are used for a control at 360°. In fact not only allow you to control the primary activities of the phone, and then calls and texts, but also to know the exact position of the device and to listen what happens around. All, of course, without arousing even the slightest suspicion.

Useful solutions for a love life happier if we think that about half of the stories of infidelitytake place in the usual places and have to deal with betrayal occurred through technological tools. Well, never let your guard down.

USA, an entrepreneur discovers the unfaithful employee thanks to the competitor company

It happened to an American company of the Alabama. Its unfaithful employee, even in a great working position and well paid, had sent her CV and a letter of introduction to the Office of Human Resources of a competitor company. In it, the disloyal employee wrote that if they had assumed her, she would have revealed their important information about the company in which she worked. Information that could ruin forever that company. As luck would that the human resources manager of competitors is a dear friend of the owner of the company where she worked at that, while kilter to business secrets, warned his friend in time, allowing him to take measures respect to the employee.

I would say that it’s something quite common, but the worrying is that she wrote to be able to have access to trade secrets and business plans that would derail my company, if she had revealed to a competitor – says the entrepreneur victim of betrayal – My first instinct was to dismiss her on Monday morning, but I didn’t want that my friend would end in trouble. I also need of more evidences”.

And those informations were obtained by reading the email that the disloyal employee sent from the office and putting under control the business places with digital audio bugs, which allowed him to listen what she has said on several calls. Confronted with the facts, she couldn’t not confess and she was immediately fired. Who knows if the competitors have decided to assume her, ready to sell confidential information to the highest bidder!

Female bullying

Girls, you know, in all that they do, put a pinch of style that escapes instead to the boys, even in the bad things, even in the bullying. A type of bullying more subtle and more difficult to find, because doesn’t leave traces on the body, but surely in the soul, marking the psyche of the victims, often teenagers and with the character in the training phase.

The words can hurt more than a slap, especially if they are addressed to a young girl with fragile character. Typically feminine are acts such as slander with expressions rather heavy and the total exclusion from the group of the class, a certain ostracism.

The mockeries usually relate both the physical and the character, but also the way to dress and are exercised for pure fun or to reinforce the self-image in front of the rest of the group or of the class, or to “get rid” a person that is view from the bully (or the bullies) as a rival in some field. It’s easy to be mockery for the forms not yet as an adult, unlike the others, with the appearance of women already. Bullies give the blame of their actions to their young age and these are considered as simple acts of student spirit, “normal”, in a sense.

Bullying among girls is a phenomenon that should not be underestimated, because it isn’t easily recognizable and may have deleterious effects on the psychological level. Thus, in addition to interventions in the field of education in the schools, it would be good to develop a more complex system of surveillance if there are suspicions.

Often, too, the victims are closed in themselves because they are afraid of not being believed or that those who hear them, their parents, for example, belittle certain actions. For this, would do well to adopt mini digital recorders, tools with very reduced dimensions and easy to hide, that would allow them to record what happens, so you can provide evidences in the presence of parents and teachers.

A phenomenon, that of bullying by women, that doesn’t leave way not even to celebrities, as has revealed the daughter of the king of pop Michael Jackson in an interview given to Oprah Winfrey. She told of how her classmates have exercised on her physical and psychological violence, including the Web.

Reject the spouse is a crime

The judges of the Supreme Court have expressed their views in recent days on the case of Monica and Lapo, an italian couple that from seven years hadn’t sexual intercourse. Monica, after the birth of their child, began to refuse the spouse. Already in 2005, the court had issued the judgment of separation without debit and had entrusted the child to the mother, to whom had also gone the house and 230 Euros per month for the maintenance of daughter. The decision isn’t liked to Lapo. On appeal, the husband, adding charges against ex-wife, obtained the ruling of debit: the woman over to refuse sex, the last year, had forced the man to sleep in a separate room. The wife neglected household chores making the house dirty and unlivable.

In these allegations, the Supreme Court has identified, without hesitation, the guilty of the end of marriage. In fact, it seems that when the wife not only refuses to have sex with her husband, but even forces himself to sleep in another room, snaps the separation with debit against those who “rejects” the partner. The supreme judges affirm the existence of all the elements to clarify the responsibilities and to assign a personal guilt.

In fact, the reasons are in the gesture of rejection that creates stress and frustration to the spouse causing mental and physical damage, even permanent. What appears to be the lack of moral support within the marital relationship seen by the law as “mandatory duty”.

What often happens is the refuge of the partner “rejected” in the betrayal. Seek refuge in another woman or another man who can satisfy their emotional and sexual needs. And then the spouse begins to reacquire curiosity in the person as such, improvised detective complete with spyphones and miniature spy
trying to recover “what is his own”. Therefore, could, in some cases, be the betrayal a valid solution?

When the mother-in-law becomes stalker

The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, you know, isoften made of compromises and mistakes that can lead to harassments and torments that make little quiet the family life.

In Italy, a woman of 69 years is under investigation for stalking for have made practically impossible the life of the daughter-in-law. As it has been stated to investigators, the lady complained constantly about the young woman. The disorder in the house, the excessive spending, the way to dress, the time of rising from the bed, the physical and behavioral characteristics … are the central themes of the gripes of the mother of her husband. To this were added true harassments: stalking, telephone controls, sudden incursions. Obviously everything “for the good” of the babe by now over forty.

In many cases, these are psychological torments. The women concerned are stalked and kept under telephone control. In the case of Italian mother-in-law, she had established a real adversarial relationship with his son’s wife, as if they were contending for the same man. While in another case, the woman really wanted to restore the relationship of the son with his ex, now finished just because of her intrusiveness.

Letters, spyphone, surveillance and bugs are all elements found during the investigation. On the other hand, the data are clear: the complaints to the ladies dissatisfied to the women chosen by their sons have increased. So even young women could “protect” themselves perhaps using an untraceable mobile phone or by resorting to a bug sweeping that allows to rilevale and turn off all the bugs hidden.

Mothers jealous, overprotective and men very often “mammon” and not able to take a position on the controversy mother-wife. Himself is a victim and accomplice of the stalker. Often the problem is cultural. The couple to survive needs of their vital spaces and is therefore essential to establish pacts that allow a peaceful and familiar relationship and perhaps establish a maximum threshold of intrusiveness of dear mother.

Betrayal is written in the DNA

Betrayers are born. This is what scientists of the State University of New York, led by professor Justin Garcia, have discovered: betray could be a feature written in our DNA from the birth.

The blame would be of a variant of the DRD4 gene, already linked to alcohol abuse, to gambling and to a more “liberal” behavior, that would influence the sexual attitudes of people and it explain why for some is “genetically impossible” to stay faithful. Scientists have conducted a research on the DNA and on the sexual history of 181 young people founding that who had a specific gene variant had twice as likely to grant to themselves a fling than the other.

At the base of betrayal, a system of pleasure that has as “reward” the release of a certain amount of dopamine. It’s clear that in the case of a hidden relationship, increases the risks, the pathos and the reward becomes more generous. This research could cheer up the passionate betrayers and to serve as an alert even those who believed to can “sleep on seven pillows”. These data certainly will increase the use of spy phones and bugs to keep an eye discreetly the partners and above all to try to limit the damage of extramarital affairs. In fact, U.S. scientists have shown that it’s possible to be gratified and want to keep a stable relationship, but at the same time not be able to remain faithful feeling a strong need to cheat.

To confirm this study came the one conduced by the Department of Medical Epidemiology and Biostatistics of the Karolinska Institutet in Stockholm that has verified the presence of the gene AVPR1A, linked to the production of vasopressin, in the so-called “latin lover”. A kind of genetic defect that would make never “satisfied” some individuals. The researchers examined 521 pairs of twins, rebuilding their genetic maps. They found that men that had the gene variant AVPR1A, had more difficult to establish long-term relationship and they had greater problems in married life.

Of course, there isn’t certainty that all those who possess these genes have brayed or will betray, but studies have shown that the genetic components have a significant weight on some individuals. Better run for cover, right?