Monthly Archives: October 2012

The precarious journalist complaints with a blog “sexual mobbing”

Olga, fancy name of a young precarious journalist like many others who have decided groped luck to moving, looking for a permanent job. But what she found has been a director, who molests her. The “pig” as she calls him. Unable to denounce and to take legal actions for fear of not being believed, she decided to write her sad story in a blog, “The Pig at Work”.

A story of our times, started on 24 July when Olga moved where a director had offered a real job, complete with a contract. In a short time, the boss turned out to be a “pig”, one that in exchange for decent work calls for companionship and attentions, body and soul. Already at the end of July the young journalist has launched its blog. Posts that follow one after the other and have the same taste: compromises, abuses, silences.

Olga’s story is, in some respects, the story of several precarious that to chase the dream of a permanent job, yield to avances and submissions. All in exchange for a decent future. A continuous hope that things will get better and it gets the opportunity deserved. The journalist called it “sexual mobbing”, hard to prove and able to subtract the first dignity, and then identity.

In similar cases have often been used bugs and microrecorders that allowed to reconstruct of the events and to witness threats and proposals of “exchanges”. Dinner invitations, congratulations, psychological violence and implied blackmail are clear signs of a relationship that seeks to go beyond the scope of work and who are often read as “normal care”.

There is always to ask if the person on the other side is happy to receive compliments and pressing attentions of various kinds. Moreover, what takes root in young people is increasing awareness of the lack of meritocracy. Know how to write, having studied, have achieved brilliant goals, know languages…it’s not enough to be a journalist, in the case of Olga, as in many others. Lacks the “special” relationships. Also being a woman still makes the difference even in a regime of equal opportunities, indeed, paradoxically, women may have a double opportunity. In the end more than the pain of violence, often well hidden, it hurts the inability to defend themselves.

Facebook the home wrecker

According to a study in the UK 30% of divorce cases cite precisely the word “Facebook”. The research, which was published by the website “Divorce Online”, has been accomplished on the basis of a sample of 5000 causes and it has raised on the blog of the “Wall Street Journal” a heated debate: is not true that Facebook is today one of the main causes of divorce? Not only Facebook, but also chat and Internet in general, according to 80% of the legal members of the attorneys association of Americans law family would have a leading role in the separations so much so that the U.S. judiciary has held that a court may order to a spouse to give the password to access to a personal Facebook page.

There are many husbands and wives who fear betrayal and seek to discover the passwords of the different accounts of spouse on the Internet, perhaps using systems to control the remote PC or keyhunter, tools to record typed characters on a keyboard that allow, in this way to discover the password. A practice that doesn’t allow to use the data collected during the trial, but that certainly opens the eyes to the cheated spouse who at least can dispel any doubts and make a choice for life.

New friends or old relationships that life, with its many vicissitudes, had dissolved. Today, social networks allow to recover them with a click on “Add Friend”. A single click, a thousand temptations to fall. Although it’s easy to demonize this tool, partners victims of betrayal should take into account that it isn’t the medium, but the action itself that matters and that must be condemned. Of course, communications with the web today have become easier, but you can not accuse a social network to be the cause of the failure of their relationship. If a relationship is broken, there are definitely deeper causes that go beyond the scapegoat, in this case Facebook.

Social networks, according to the British study, also, are cited not only as a source of alleged or actual treachery, but also as a source of discord between parents undergoing separation who quarrelling for opening or less than a page by its sons.

Essentially, before answering the big question “Facebook ruined families?” with a “yes” would be more appropriate that we all were to make a self-examination it goes beyond the instrument. If you are cheating, the fault isn’t of the Internet, but more profound dissatisfaction that should be investigated. However, we can not disregard the fact that social networks, and Facebook in the first place, are changing radically and, perhaps not always for the better, the way in which, paradoxically, is living the social. A social that is moving away, with all its “pro”, but also with its countless “against”, from face-to-face.

Amanda T., 15 years old victim of cyber-bullying

Three years of harassment and cyber-bullying, then suicide. Amanda T., 15years Canadian was sailing on the net as most everyday teenagers. Her life was changed by when she had met a man on Facebook, so she decided to call it quits. He had asked her to show her body and she, only 12 years old, had naively accepted photographing her breasts with the webcam. The cyber-bully has begun to threaten her: she had to do what he ordered otherwise would spread the images online. And in the end, he did it anyway.

The emotion of the chat had turned into anxiety, depression, and her will to live was gradually fading. In September, Amanda had told the event with a video in black and white where she slid a series of placards telling her story as a form of silent request for help. “I have nobody, I need someone”. This has also caused unpleasant reactions online. Amanda had already tried twice to commit suicide.

A few months ago, she changedschool because the companion of an older man with whom Amanda entertained, beat her and humiliated publicly. At the new school in Vancouver say that they have done everything to help her. But it was not enough.

Probably more control over the girl would have avoided the worst. Many parents use spy phones to get to know their sons, to know with who they speak and who they attend, and they use systems to display the contents of the PC and in particular to know the chat texts.

A few days after the suicide of Amanda, the hacktivist group Anonymous has made public a video with the alleged identity of the cyber-bully. In network hackers have provided name and surname and also the address of the alleged stalker. He would be a man of 32 years, a resident of Vancouver, regular visitor to child pornography sites. The man would have precedents for sexual harassment.

More divorces if they share the household chores

Who said that the sharing of housework bring benefit to the couple? To give answer, a study conducted by NOVA, the Norwegian Institute for Research on adolescence and based on 15,000 subjects aged between 18 and 84 years. According to researchers, the likelihood of divorce of couples in which both partners cooperate in the management of the home and in the education of children, are 50% more than those in which the woman does almost everything. Sad to admit that according to this study, the parity is a underhand thing. Thomas Hansen, one of the researchers on the project entitled “Likestilling hjemme” (“Equality in the house”) explained that contrary to popular belief, the sharing of responsibility for housework doesn’t necessarily contribute to the satisfaction of the couple. In short, according to the study, “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate”. Of course, these sexist statements required clarifications.

First of all the research was conducted among couples from bourgeois circles and professional, where it is known that divorce rates are higher. Hansen also stated that, in reality, the separations would not be a mere effect of equality, but the result of the dynamics of modern couple. It’s undeniable that in contemporary families is easier to think of divorce because the economic independence of women uncouple them from a sort of “dependency” from the male. In addition, the man, in the case of domestic work may feel subjected to the critical gaze of the woman, usually more experienced in the field and so ready to point out to him – not always with kindness – any “mistakes” and in the event that the man exceeded her expectations she might feel “ousted”. In this sense, domestic harmony may fail. And so, also the trust and then would start to creep doubts of a possible betrayal. Could be used for this purpose spy phones or innovative bugs in the car, at home or in the places most frequented to try to calm the situation by deleting any suspicion.

In any case, the division of roles may be a good remedy. “I wash you, you drafts”, so to speak. In conclusion, this study seems to contradict a recent study conducted in seven countries, which states exactly the opposite, namely a greater well-being, balance and happiness in men who shared with the partner the chores. As always, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

The place of betrayal: the office

“Mary”, fancy name for remain anonymous, is the owner of an holding where her husband works. They are married from 13 years. One day, she notes in her partner strange behaviors: increased nervousness at work and at home, vague answers and physical distance. Those which, in short, can be signs of betrayal. But, while noting her husband in greater detail in his movements and actions, she can’t understand, until one day, watching videos of hidden cameras for surveillance, she sees a “careless” and passionate kiss between the man and an employee.

This true story reveals a trend shown by new research. Infact, the studies conducted by the Institute of sex evolution (Milan) on 3000 Internet users, half male and half female, between 18 and 50 years, are really representative: the most popular as lovers are no longer lifeguards, animators and single under the umbrella, but co-workers, maybe because you’re searching for some sort of affinity also mental one, understanding and sharing of problems.

It becomes more complicated when the situation is in the same place where working wife, husband and lover. Complicated but easier to find, because as much as you do everything to keep it hidden, often escape between the two lovers accomplices looks and phrases that don’t go unnoticed by colleagues, which begin to make allusions and jokes.

There is, moreover, by the traitor, a greater distraction and agitation, the need, concealed behind overtime, to remain in the office longer, when the official companion has already returned home, to organize trips that tend to exclude the same.

All behavior that should become suspicious, but according to the experts, never talk about in public. Discuss in front of his colleagues represent only a humiliation, especially for the betrayed. It’s better, therefore face this type of discourses when you are alone at home, and only after making sure of betrayal, talk with the lover. Threads which, however, don’t solve the problem, because following these events, it would be difficult a coexistence of the three in the workplace. It would therefore be appropriate, ask for a transfer, when possible, or change careers.

The betrayal? It’s discovered with the GPS

In the United States there is much discussion about the story of a man that has discovered the betrayal of his wife through a software installed without permission on her smartphone. Also in Italy, a man said that he has seen, thanks to a Google Maps picture, the car of his wife parked under the house of her ex-boyfriend. After an initial doubt that the vehicle could be a similar pattern with the same color, the man has seen, in the car, the infant seat that he himself had mounted on the back seat.

In the moltitude of smartphone software, it is in use for some time now, a program that provides the ability to locate a mobile phone through the GPS system. How? Just install on the phone of the person to keep an eye, a software. Then to locate the GPS position of the phone, simply send a command to the spyphone that in a few minutes will reply with an SMS containing latitude and longitude. Entering the coordinates in Google Maps or Google Earth, you can see the exact address where the phone is at that moment and you’re done.

Great news for all those who want to control their partner, but bad for those that carry on an extra-marital affair.

Bullying and violence among young people: differences, causes and solutions

When we speak of bullying, we never have a precise definition of what this is. Its meaning, in fact, changes from country to country: while in England, for example, this word refers to the aggressive behavior by a person or group against peers with whom there is a profound asymmetry of power, due for example to different social, racial, sexual or other conditions, in Sweden the word “bullying” is identified with “mobbing”, which in Italy, and other countries, is related only to the working sphere. In Italy when it comes to bullying it’s referred, almost exclusively, to harassing behavior from young people, especially teenagers, to peers or even younger. Aggressive behavior that range from verbal abuse to actual physical aggressions.

Although in many schools are looking for more dialogue on education and respect for others, there are serious cases, outside the control of who should oversee the children, from teachers, often themselves victims, to parents, who often don’t know that their child is the victim of bullies or bully himself.

If the insults can be tollerated, even if the psychology demonstrates that it isn’t so because they go to influence the teenager personality in formation, certainly more unacceptable is the physical aggression and aren’t a few cases in which it occurs. Just read the news story. In these cases we are always asking where are the “adults”, where are the parents, not only of the victim, but also of the executioners. What brings a boy or a girl (bullying is also declined in the feminine), to discharge his anger over the weak? Psychologists attribute some attitudes to some social components and especially to the family. On the one hand, there are parents who recognize the problem and try to investigate and resolve, like an italian mum that gave to his son, suspected bully, a spyphone to be able to control and understand the reason for such attitudes, on the other hand, there are those who leave these guys to their fate, thinking that aggression is almost a genetic feature, difficult to change.

Also the Pope has been betrayed

Maybe you can not properly speak of business infidelity, but also the Pope was victim of betrayal. In these days Paolo Gabriele, former Benedict XVI chamber assistant, came back in court accused of grand larceny for stealing (and then passed out) highly confidential documents together with a check for € 100,000 made out to the Pope, a nugget of gold, and a precious copy of the Aeneid dating back to 1581.

Reconstruct briefly the story: during the first months of 2012 there was a systematic leak of confidential documents relating to internal and external relationships of the Holy See. These reports showed the power struggles in the ecclesiastical and irregularities in the financial management of the State, as the lack of application of the AML rules. Among the documents that most have made a stir, there is the one alluded to an alleged plot to death against Benedict XVI, which was to end with the election of the next Pope identified in Cardinal Angelo Scola. On 25 May 2012, Father Federico Lombardi, director of the Vatican press office, announced the detention of a man found in possession of confidential papers of Pope. The man was Paolo Gabriele, private butler of the Pope, since 2006. Investigators soon raised doubts about the fact that behind the scandal, called Vatileaks, can hide only Paolo Gabriele. In this regard, in the month of August was released an official statement of the Holy See concerning the results of the preliminary investigation and the committal for trial of Paul Gabriel together with another accused Claudio Sciarpelletti, computer technician, official of the Secretariat of State. For now it seems that Sciarpelletti was found “without blemish”, but are entered as protagonists in the story, several cardinals with high profiles and people very close to His Holiness. Gabriel continues to reiterate that he has betrayed the Pope and that he has done alone.

It seems almost surreal that the powerful means of monitoring of the Vatican failed to shed light on the matter. In recent days, the Council of Europe, invited the Holy See “to strengthen their supervisory regime” especially in fiscal matters.                                                                    Remember that, according to the report  of the Adnkronos, authoritative sources of information, John Paul II was not the only one to be spied and controlled. Cardinal Agostino Casaroli, Vatican Secretary of State from 1979 to 1990, seems to have been intercepted by the KGB through a bug in the eighties. In addition, a nun in the service of Cardinal Casaroli, tell the same sources, accidentally discovered a bug at the base of a small statue of Our Lady of Fatima placed in the dining room. Everyday stories that should be diked maybe using instruments of bug sweeping, in order to preserve the Holy See from information leaks easily exploited.